My Idiot's Cute Little Habits
by Prince of Mischief
Summary: [Fili's POV] Fili ultimately decides to keep a journal of Kili and his quirky habits to maintain what sanity he has left. Contains mentioned/explicit Durincest. Suggestions open!
1. An Afternoon at the Spring

_A/N: My first published The Hobbit fanfiction, how exciting! Granted, not my first written, but my first completed. This entire thing was written in about two hours very late in the evening, so I hope there are minimal spelling/grammar mistakes. Reviews loved!_

_ This __**will**__ be a multichapter story about Kíli's quirky habits, so if you have any ideas for a future chapter, please don't be shy – I'd love to hear it, and I'll be sure to credit you if I use the idea!_

**x~x**

_Firstly and foremost, this is __not__ a diary. This notebook is merely going to be used to record memorable events throughout our journey, and nothing else. Whatsoever._

I paused my quill, frowning a bit. Who exactly was I trying to convince here?

… Continuing.

_We set out from the Shire just five days ago, and as more come to pass, I come to the conclusion that this will be a very grand – and amusing – little adventure. I only wish that our burglar, Bilbo -_

I blinked. Damn, what was his last name?

- _would be a little more at ease with our Company. Also, what __is__ a last name? Why not just state his father's name after his own like every other normal person? It seems rather a waste of speech to have two names. It's not like anyone would be able to remember both of them._

_But anyways, back to this burglar of ours. He hasn't seemed to yet warmed up to us yet, and I can tell that's making a couple of us anxious. Even Kíli, who is commonly rather social and outgoing with new people, has seemed to stay a distance from Bilbo. Or perhaps that's just because I do, as well. After all, it's rare Kíli leaves my side in the first place._

I chuckled softly, twirling one of my long braids with my index finger slowly.

_Ah, Kíli. He's such a darling, in his own unique, quirky way. The little habits he has a just adorable, albeit rather unusual. Sometimes I wonder if he know just how __feminine__ he can seem sometimes. It's rather odd. For example, just the other day..._

**Three days ago**

"_Fíliii!_"

I barely had time to look up from unlacing my boots before I felt a pair of strong arms wrapping around my torso, dragging me into a tight, nearly suffocating embrace.

"K-Kíli," I managed to choke out. "W-what are you doing, little one?"

For being five years my junior, Kíli certainly had one _hell_ of a tight grip.

"Fíli, you've gotta help me out!" Kíli blurted out, pulling away from me just far enough that I could see his eyes, wide with panic. I double blinked, letting my hands rest on his sides.

"What are you talking about?" I tilted my head slightly, my eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Did Bomfur catch you stealing food again? I _told_ you he would notice if you kept knicking the meat pies."

"No, this is _worse!_" He wailed, shaking his head.

"What could be worse than Bomfur's wrath of stolen food?"

"_Listen, _brother!" Kíli huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Thorin just told me something _awful_ – he threatened that if I didn't find a way to tidy up my hair, he'd cut it shorter than Ori's with a flint knife!"

I stared blankly. "Kíli, sweetheart, that's completely ridiculous. There's no way he said that-"

"It's _true!_" Kíli gripped a fistful of his dark locks, trying to show me its miserable state. "Look! It's looks _dreadful!_"

"Well, don't bunch it all up, that'll only make it look worse." I mused, gently uncurling Kíli's hand from his hair.

Now that Kíli had mentioned it, I could actually understand why Thorin would say something like that. Compared to the rest of our Company, Kíli's hair was by far the most mangled, tangled, and unruly. When washed with the proper soaps and oils, Kíli's hair would shine brilliantly and light would shimmer through his wavy locks. It was times like that in which he would allow me to gather his hair into a single, thick braid which I would marvel at until he would remove the band holding it together.

"Hm..." I hummed quietly as I weaved my left hand through his hair slowly, feeling clumps of sticky, greasy hair slump through my fingers. Kíli winced a bit when I came across a rather large knot. "Ow."

"Sorry, love." I tsk'd. "Your hair is positively in need of a good wash, I'll grant you that. Unless cutting it off would make it easier...?"

To be frank, I was only half-joking.

"No!" Kíli said quickly, "That's why I came to _you – _I knew you could help!"

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" I chuckled softly as I withdrew my hand before I came across any more tangles. "Perhaps uncle is right – your hair _would_ look more neater if you cut it short."

For a moment there, I tried to picture Kíli with short, choppy hair rather than the long mane he had. It was a fairly difficult image for me to think of, but I wasn't sure if I would like it better or worse.

"Traitor!" Kíli squealed, taking a grip on my tunic and tugging. "Who's side are you on? I just _barely_ grew it out to the same length as yours, and now you want me to _cut _it?"

I grinned, pulling my pouting brother a little closer by his hips. "Of course not, angel."

Kíli's bottom lip stuck out a bit, making him appear five years younger. "Good. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to use the hair clasp you made me."

He reached one hand behind his head and touched the sterling gently, as if reminding himself it was still there. I took his hand and intertwined my fingers with his. "Don't worry. It isn't about to unclip anytime soon."

"You never know."

"Mm, but I do. I was the one who made it."

"... You never know."

I raised his hand and kissed his fingers, and Kíli took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled through his mouth – an act I soon learned was to attempt to keep his cheeks from flushing red. I squeezed his hand lightly before releasing it and wrapping my arm around his waist. "Come, let's get your hair in order before Thorin fetches his flint knife."

_x~x_

It was not too long before Kíli and I wandered our way back to the warm spring just a couple minutes from our temporary camp. It was a lovely place, really, with lush, green plants curling around and down the smooth water stones. The sound of the falling water was relaxing, I decided, as I nodded to Kíli. "Hop in."

Kíli made a face. "You sure? How d'ya know if it's clean?"

"We've bathed in worse-"

"- we've also bathed in better-"

"- and the water's crystal-clear." I finished, unable to suppress a small smirk. "So. _Hop in_."

Kíli meekly did as he was told, beginning to undress. First his heavy-set boots, then his thick jacket, and so forth. Once only in breeches and a loose tunic that was too large for him, he looked up at me crossly.

"This isn't fair," He complained, and I raised my eyebrow. "I'm strippin' down naked and you're just watching like some old pervert."

"Sorry. Didn't mean to stare."

I'm such a bad liar.

"Sure." Unsurprisingly, Kíli sounded quite unconvinced. He slid his final shirt over his head and off completely, and with a sudden sly smirk, he beckoned to be with a single finger. "C'mere."

I blinked, my eyes widening a bit. "S-sorry?"

"Come _here_."

Kíli grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to the edge of the water.

"Kíli, you know the leather on my boots are wearing thin, I don't think they're waterproof anymore-"

"Then take them off." Kíli cut me off smoothly, his hands reaching for the double buckles that lay on around my hips. "In fact, let's just take _everything_ off."

I took the time to pretend like I was considering this, but nonchalantly shrugged. "Very well."

I don't know how our situation got from me about to give Kíli's hair a good scrub to this, but not a minute later we were both entirely undressed, and I was easing myself into the soothing water of the spring while Kíli was busy dunking his head in preparation for the wash. He groaned with pleasure as he sat up again, shoving wet hair from his face.

"This water feels _amazing,_" He moaned, running his fingers through hair slowly. "Absolutely _lovely._"

"Told you it was clean." I retorted smugly, but I had to admit, I didn't realize it would be this pleasant. The sweet water was the perfect temperature, and I did delight in the fact it didn't sting my eyes when I washed my face.

"Nadadel, I say we never leave." Kíli prompted. "Let's just stay here! Erebor can reclaim itself."

"I'm not so sure if it works that way." I stretched my arms and tilted my head, stretching my back. I closed my eyes as I felt months of gathered stress and tension slowly melt away from my spine. When I finally dragged my eyelids open again, I saw that Kíli had moved closer to me, and was grinning brightly as he tucked his arms loosely around my neck.

I leaned and kissed his forehead, and I felt him wiggle closer. So close, in fact, he was now sitting on my lap.

...

Oh, dear Mahal.

On my lap.

"This is a _really_ nice place, Fíli." Kíli began softly, his hand starting to massage the back of my neck slowly. I opened my mouth, but I found myself unable to form any sort of sentence. "I..."

I could feel his short fingernails scratch lightly at my hairline, sending shivers through my body. The abrupt relaxation combined with drowsiness and a bit of lust made my head work at half-speed, and I stammered out, "What are you getting at?"

Kíli looked mildly surprised, and it was then that I realized I had accidentally slurred into Khuzdul. I shook my head, searching for Common Tongue. "S-sorry. I'm awfully tired, for some reason..."

Kíli paused, before he nodded sympathetically and slid off of my lap and down beside me. "That's okay. I guess I am too, kinda."

"Then let's get you a good wash before we both fall asleep out here." I struggled to sit up right again, and Kíli beamed and moved to sit down in front of me. I rested my hands on his shoulders, and took just a moment to appreciate the soft skin I found there. Not really thinking about it, my thumbs moved in small, slow circles above his shoulder blades. I didn't expect to feel his muscles so tight, and I felt rather guilty that he had been under so much stress lately, what with all that was going on. I tried to quickly shove that thought out of my mind – this time was about cleansing Kíli and helping him feel good.

I kissed the junction between his neck and shoulder and closed my eyes as I worked at massaging his back. I applied pressure at the areas I decided needed the most attention and love, such as right below his neck and the inner sides of his shoulder blades, where I could feel knots larger than the ones in his hair. I heard his breath hitch quietly as I rubbed slowly into the overworked muscle of his left shoulder, and I murmured, "How does it feel?"

"I-it feels good." Kíli whispered, bowing his head to lean against his knees. I smiled gently, rather pleased with myself. It was difficult to ease a true confession about these sorts of things out of Kíli – I was rather surprised he didn't go along with his typical 'fine' or 'it's alright'.

"There's so much tension here, little brother." I told him gently as I ran my hand down either side of the top of his spine. "Especially so on the right side."

"Archery does that, I suppose." Came the mumbled response, and I could tell just by how heavy his words sounded that he was on the verge of exhaustion. I hummed in agreement and decided that it was now time to begin washing his hair. I sat up straight and reached behind me for a glass vial from that I had put to the side earlier. Inside was a thick liquid, almost as thick as paste. I pulled the top off and it swirled lazily as I tilted the bottle to pour some of it into my palm. Its citrus scent was strong, and smelled incredibly sweet. I rubbed the liquid between my hands and it soon became a frothing lather, which I used to begin cleansing his hair.

Kíli had such long hair that I had to wash it in two separate sections, and I felt his body go a bit more slack as I used my hands to comb through his locks, making absolute sure that I was spreading the white-bubbly stuff everywhere I could. I heard Kíli giggle quietly as a few bubbled drifted into the water, and he poked them with his finger and watched them pop. I smiled a bit, but soon turned my attention to my work in front of me.

"Dip your head in for me, would you please, Kíli?"

Kíli nodded slowly and scooted forward, before leaning his head back to dunk his hair into the spring water. I gently raked my fingers through his hair as he remained there, and I washed out all of the foam and little bubbles. I helped him sit up again and this time washed the top-most section of his hair. I hummed a familiar tune as scratched against his scalp very lightly, and he shivered.

"Kíli, my love?"

"Mm...?"

I slid my fingers upwards behind his ears, loving the way he squirmed. I felt my lips curve into an involuntary grin, but I didn't even try to stop it. "Thorin never ordered you to wash up your hair, did he?"

Kíli chuckled, a very soft and lovely sound. "No, nadad. He did not."

My grin only grew, and I said gently, "Dip again."

He obeyed, and I once again set to washing out his hair. I adored the way his long, dark eyelashes fluttered closed as I gently wiped away the lather from his forehead, his lips barely open as he relaxed. Once I was finished, I rested one hand against his shoulder as I used my other to place the now nearly-empty vial to the side.

With a soft, "Finished," I tenderly kissed his right, then left eyelid. His eyes did not open, but I saw as his soft lips smiled slightly, and it was enough to make my heart flutter. I gently touched his bottom lip with my index finger, and pressed the most chaste, most precious kiss I could against them. I closed my eyes slowly as I felt him return the kiss, his lips moving against me in a slow, fragile dance. I dared not to break it as I felt him slowly rise, sitting upright again and moving close to me. I slid my arm around him, securely claiming him.

His skin felt like velvet and his mouth tasted of sweet peaches, and there was no where else I would have rather been in the entire Middle Earth at that moment. I explored already-explored flesh with my hands as my guide, dipping down against the small of his back and swallowing up the small mewl that emitted from his throat.

Finally, I felt Kíli pull away slowly. I forced my eyes to open, and it made my head swim with want as I took in the sight of his half-lidded eyes gazing lust-filled into mine, deep brown eyes full of satisfaction.

I loved it.

I loved _him_.

I loved everything about him.

"Let's go back to camp," Were the first words that Kíli murmured after our shared kiss: "They'll be wondering where we went."

I didn't want to leave. I hesitated, and then felt a cool hand press ever-so lightly against my cheek. Kíli rested his forehead against mine, and smiled drowsily. "We'll come back tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." I echoed slowly in agreement, and slowly rose with Kíli.

_x~x_

_ I should have known Kíli had fibbed about Thorin's threat. But at the end of the day, I didn't much care. In fact, I appreciated it. I learned a lot that day and the next, like how to give a suitable massage, and where __not__ to make love. But more on that later._

I nodded to myself, satisfied with my first entry. Who knows? Maybe this would turn out to be a daily habit of mine.

As long as no one else finds it, this little book may be all I need to maintain a bit of sanity around here.


	2. Rose-scented Mischief

I hummed quietly to myself as I took my journal from my bag. I moved quietly, not wanting to disturb the sleeping Kíli, whose hair was tousled against the pillow but deep asleep, nonetheless. I smiled softly as I leaned to give him a final kiss goodnight on the forehead, before sitting up and opening it to a new, fresh page.

_I'm starting to like Beorn's house much more than I thought I would. I was, to be frank, quite let down when I first arrived, but I think my opinion has changed for the much better. I also learned something about Kíli today._

_I don't know how it took me this long to put together, but there's something I only just recently realized about him. No matter the cost, scenario or situation, he always – __always__ – gets what he wants. See, just the day before...  
_

**Yesterday  
**

The moment the word 'housing' had left Gandalf's mouth, I exchanged a wide grin with Kíli.

A _house?_

Houses meant warm food, comfortable furniture, and peace and quiet. But even better than that, a house meant bedrooms away from prying eyes, and heavy doors that locked shut and promised privacy. A house meant a big, comfortable bed that I could curl up with Kíli on, finally giving my constantly-sore back a break from the hard, and often chilled, bedroll I was used to.

Needless to say, I was thrilled to hear that we were about to stay at a real home.

However, before I was able to fully imagine what sort of activities would take place later tonight, we were in full sprint. The dreadful howl and screeches of orc and the enormous beast far behind us coursed panic through my veins, and I cursed myself silently for the variety of heavy iron weapons I insisted on keeping with me at all times. I could hear Kíli panted lightly ahead of me, clutching his bow tightly in his left hand to keep it from loosening or snapping as he ran.

Even further ahead of me, I spotted our burglar struggling to keep up with the much-taller wizard in front of him. My boots, which were in dire need of new soles, were so thin that I could actually feel the individual blades of dead grass beneath my feet. I hissed as I felt a sharp rock slice the heel of my foot.

I lost track of how long we were running. We jumped over boulders and splashed through shallow fords, but the echoing scream of the creature kept us moving.

Finally, _finally_, with a cry from Gandalf, our house in question came into view. I glanced over my shoulder and my eyes widened as I saw the bear – _was_ is a bear? It was too big! - lunge from the dense forest, its jaws open wide and its huge fangs gleaming.

"_Faster_, Kíli!" My voice raised into a scream and Kíli's head whipped around, his face pale and eyes round with terror. "_Go!_"

We reached the house, and the heavy wooden bar was hastily shoved upwards to allow entrance inside. Kíli, among the first to race in, turned quickly to block the door as snapping jowls of the bear collided with the opposite side of the door. The chunk of wood was pushed down again, and the thick door was locked.

I immediately hurried for Kíli, who slumped against the door tiredly. He gave a weak laugh of relief and I hugged him tightly. I could feel him trembling. I pulled away, trying to force a grin.

"That was close, yeah?" Kíli breathed, standing upright again.

"Too close." I responded heavily, wiping my brow with my sleeve. Kíli cleared his throat and shook out his arms a little, likely trying to regain composure.

"... where are we?" Kíli frowned as he looked around a little. "I thought Gandalf said this would be a house."

I understood exactly what he was talking about. The place was barely a home – more like an oversized kitchen combined with a seemingly-pointless common room, which had little that actually resembled a common room. There was no sofa, no pictures on the walls, absolutely no cause to call this place a house.

"This _is_ a house, master Kíli." Suddenly said a cross voice, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't squeak with surprise to see the old Gandalf standing directly behind me. I suppose Kíli hadn't noticed him either, because he jumped nearly a foot in the air when he spoke.

"I-I..." Kíli sputtered indignantly.

"Behave yourself," Gandalf continued, his staff tapping against the old wooden floor with a small _thud_. "We are _guests_ here."

I assumed Gandalf went on lecturing Kíli about respect or something, but I got bored and decided to have a look around. I wandered my way into the kitchen, usually my first area of choice.

I was disappointed, to be thoroughly truthful. I wanted something more cozier, more... homey. Like perhaps a nice, big fireplace with embers that glowed long after the fire died down. I wanted the scents of freshly-baked bread and sweet smoke from colorful, lighted candles.

I had wanted a large bedroom for just Kíli and to share, a quiet and warm place where we could whisper and giggle and make love once the other's were fast asleep in their own rooms. I wanted a soft, feather pillow for Kíli's tired head, a large quilted blanket to tuck around his lithe form to keep him warm for the oncoming night.

"Guess I'm just greedy." I said aloud with a sigh, and I plopped down at a seat by the table that looked big enough to seat half an army of dwarves.

"Why this time, Fí?" Kíli grinned cheekily as he came over and sat down on my lap.

"Oh, nothing." I squeezed his shoulder affectionately, then lowered my hand to rest it at the dip of his back. "I'm sure." Kíli rolled his eyes and sighed. But it was not a normal sigh.

I blinked and looked up at him.

His eyes were a bit narrow as he stared at something a way's off. He looked – and sounded – awfully irritated.

"Are you alright?" I asked hesitantly, beginning to wonder if Gandalf had been a tad too aggressive with his lecture.

"I'm fine." Was his short reply, but his arms crossed over his chest. I nuzzled against his shoulder slowly, thinking. He had seemed in well-enough spirits when we arrived here, but it seems like once he had a single glance over the place, he began to sulk.

"I..." Kíli paused and I looked back at him. "Yes?"

"It's just..." Kíli fidgeted a bit, gazing downwards. "You know, I sorta wanted... expected..."

I grew even more confused as he trailed off uncertainly, until he said meekly, "_House_."

Then the realization dawned over me. Kíli had the very same idea that I had.

And for some reason, it was so damn _cute_.

I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his hair and forehead. "Me too, my darling."

Kíli glanced up at me, biting his lip gently as if asking, '_really?'_

"It's okay," I mumbled, even though I knew it sure wasn't. "Maybe sometime soon we'll get the chance."

"It's been nearly three months since we've had so much as a decent inn to stay at." Kíli's voice was small and he sounded just as defeated as I did. He slowly slid his arms around my neck and his body slumped against mine. "... I want a bed."

I never knew I could feel so heartbroken over the topic of a sleeping-place, but this one was pulling strings.

"We're almost to Erebor," I said quietly. "We've tackled the worse of it already."

Kíli pulled away and asked rather hopefully, "You think so?"

"I know so." I confirmed with a smile. Looking rather relieved, he kissed my cheek warmly.

See? Sometimes being the optimist is the way to go.

I was grateful that our apparent skin-changer host, Beorn it was, saunted off away from his house, leaving our Company feeling quite a bit more at ease. Thorin began to talk about sending us out once more to have a better look around, and he was now organizing who would go with who with Balin.

I was distracted from my thoughts when Kíli leaned to touch a kiss to the shell of my ear and he murmured, "I've got an idea."

I shivered only slightly. "And what's that?"

"Don't you want to stay here with me while the _others_ look ahead?"

"... if you're planning on trying to talk uncle into allowing the two of us to stay here while they go, I'll tell you how to save you the trouble; Don't bother. That's never going to work."

"Shut up," Kíli smirked, preparing to stand up. "and follow my lead."

Oh no.

This could only mean one of two things.

Either he was going to attempt to cause a distraction and slip away, or he was going to break something. So I winced and waited for which of the two it was going to be.

Kíli rose to his feet, but abruptly cried out loudly. He clamped a hand over his mouth, his eyes filling with tears. I gasped and reached for his arm as he stumbled to lean against the table.

"K-Kíli, what's wrong?" I panicked. "Are you hurt?"

He gave a muffled sob and choked out, "M-my ankle! It _hurts!_"

By now, half a dozen pairs of bulging eyes were staring at us, but I couldn't care less.

"Which one?" I asked quickly, helping Kíli sit back down. He scrubbed at his eyes, breaking down crying. "T-the right one!"

Suddenly I froze.

Oh.

_Oh._

Of course.

This was the act.

"You idiot," I breathed. "You couldn't have picked something more creative?"

Kíli glanced up at me and shrugged slightly. Then he feigned a whimper and rubbed his eyes.

"Don't just stand there and gawk, boy! Move over and let me get a look at him." Óin's voice was gruff behind me, and I rapidly made the transition into the helpless older brother I was supposed to play. I stepped to the side and clasped my hands over one of Kíli's.

"What's wrong, Óin?" I forced my voice to rise into one of deep concern. "He seemed alright just a minute ago!"

"There's no bleeding," Óin muttered as he eased Kíli's boot from his foot. "Must be inside..."

"It's not broken, is it?" Came a new deeper voice from Thorin as he moved to Kíli. I watched as Kíli gulped and he avoided Thorin's piercing gaze.

"Can't tell yet," Óin responded. He looked to Kíli, carefully watching as he gently pressed upwards from the side of his foot. Kíli whined pitifully, his bottom lip trembling. I stared, fascinated at his acting skills.

Then Óin slowly twisted his foot to one side, and a scream tore from Kíli's mouth as he lunged to clutch at his leg. "S-stop, _stop!_"

Shocked by the reaction, Óin obediently released his foot and Kíli sobbed brokenly with imaginary agony. Óin looked grimly to Thorin. "It may just be a sprain, but I can't tell yet."

I suddenly felt Kíli's fingers curl into my fur jerkin, as if clutching onto me for support. Expressing the best look of worry I could, I rested one hand against his hair, stroking softly.

"Kíli," Thorin growled suddenly, his head turning to his youngest nephew. "Stop this instant."

I felt my breath hitch in my throat – had uncle seen through the act?

Kíli scrubbed at his eyes and whimpered, "W-what...?"

"You're wailing like a child," Thorin hissed, glaring. "Be _quiet_, you fool, do you wish to bring every orc pack from miles down on us?"

I was stunned at Thorin's words. Injury or not, I couldn't have imagined a more cruel of a thing to say to Kíli.

"He's in _pain_, Thorin!" I snarled, stepping between he and my brother. "Is that so wrong? How dare you scold him for something he cannot control!"

The house went silent.

Even Kíli's soft cries were gone, and I knew that every soul in the room was staring at me.

I stared defiantly at Thorin, my eyes narrow with anger. However, to my complete surprise, I saw Thorin's shoulders slump and he cast his gaze downwards.

"My... apologies, Kíli."

The words rung through the house, and I dared not to breathe.

Thorin ran a hand over his face slowly, and some part of my mind wondered if he was truly ashamed. "That was out of line," He mumbled. "Fíli, Kíli... I'm sorry."

I couldn't believe it! I let out a slow breath, hearing a soft murmur stirring through the dwarves that watched. I didn't respond to my uncle until Kíli did first, with a soft 'it's okay', and I gave a slight nod.

"I've just been feeling so overwhelmed lately..." Thorin leaned heavily against the table, not looking up.

"So have we all, Thorin." Balin spoke up sympathetically, moving to lay a hand on his shoulder. "I think what we all need is a good, long night's sleep."

"No," Thorin shook his head. "Not yet. We need to scout ahead before the sun goes down any further."

I said nothing.

Kíli's plan hadn't worked.

We were never going to get time alone.

"Fíli, will you stay here with Kíli?" Thorin asked me. "He needs to rest his foot, and I trust you to watch over him."

"Would you like me to stay as well?" Bofur inquired.

_Damn it, Bofur..._

I clenched my jaw, waiting for Thorin's answer.

To my great relief, Thorin shook his head. "Not this time. I need all the dwarves I can get for tonight."

I could have started laughing aloud at that very moment – it _worked_. Kíli's plan was foolproof!

I tried to catch Kíli's glance, but he was staring down at the ground, more than likely trying to hold back an enormous grin just as I was.

"Thank you, uncle." I told him respectfully as to not draw too much suspicion. "I'll watch over him."

Thorin smiled gently to me before turning to the remainder of our group and began setting his orders.

"Ori and Dwalin, the two of you go north a mile. When Óin finished wrapping Kíli's ankle, I want you, Nori and Bofur, to go west. See if you can't find out where that river leads."

Thorin went on but I stopped listening. I walked behind Kíli and kissed his hair. He peered up at my curiously, smiling.

"How's your foot feeling?"

"A little better." Kíli smirked and I grinned.

"I sure do hope it's not broken," He continued quite casually as Óin finished binding his ankle. The older dwarf nodded before hurrying over to join Bofur and Nori as ordered.

"That would be rather inconvenient." I agreed and I heard the shuffling of feet leaving the house. As I watched them go, I couldn't help but comment, "I wonder where Gandalf went."

"I think he left before I pulled this..." Kíli stood up, searching for the right word. "Stunt."

"You're _awful_," I snickered as I pulled him close to me. I could feel as he pressed his hips against mine, and I went on, "I thought Thorin was going to beat me when I stood up against him like that."

"I expected that as well," Kíli mused, and eagerly tugged me down a couple of steps from the kitchen to the larger room.

He kneeled beside a pile of straw, and pulled me down along with him. I pushed him down gently by his shoulders and set to unclasping his heavy coat, and Kíli helped me push it away from him completely. I suddenly understood just how impatient he was truly feeling when he began shoving his breeches and small clothes off while I was still busy with his top layers.

"Forget the tunic, just leave it on." Kíli begged of me. "_Please._"

"Oh?" I chuckled softly, letting one of my hands slide down from his flank to his thigh, rounding my palm around his knee. He hissed lightly, grabbing my by the lapel of my coat. "F-_Fíli._"

"We haven't gotten the chance to do this in weeks, now you suddenly wish to rush the whole thing?" I murmured. "This is so unlike you, brother..."

"W-well, I'm... I-I'm..." Kíli swallowed thickly, and to my mild surprise, he turned his head away. "_Really... _you know..."

My grin broadened.

Oh, did I know.

I _understood_. Entirely.

"Just give me one moment," I promised him lightly, before kissing his lips gently. I could feel him immediately try to kiss me in return, but I didn't allow him to continue. He groaned in frustration, leaning his head against the plush straw beneath.

"Why are you such a romantic?" He grumbled as I traced his collarbones gently with two fingers, but I had no doubt I heard him gasp lightly when I moved my fingers down a bit lower to his nipple. I circled there slowly, and I felt his hips press against mine as he shifted uncomfortably. I did not touch the nub directly, for I knew just how sensitive the area was for him.

Kíli's breath came in shallow, light inhales as I gently took his half erected member into my hand, and I leaned forward to rest my forehead against the nape of his neck. I kissed there softly, over and over again, everywhere I could reach without moving my head as I began to gently rub his member. I gave it a very slight squeeze and I heard him hiss, "Don't," but I paid no mind.

There are many small things I need to remember when I am with Kíli in this fashion, little tricks I've learned with him and his body of the years of our union. For instance, I knew that if I were to press my thumb ever-so-lightly against the bottom of the head of his arousal...

Kíli whimpered softly, his eyes closing tightly. I smirked triumphantly.

I also knew that if I were to lightly oil two fingers and...

Damn.

I stopped suddenly and sat up with a frown. Kíli's eyelids opened slowly, panting softly. "W-why did you stop...?"

"We need oil." I responded blankly. "I... don't have any."

"Idiot." Kíli groaned, "Nor do I."

He pressed his palms against his eyes and sighed. "Of _course_ we don't have any damn oil. Of course. We finally get the chance to do this, and _damn it_, we don't-"

I silenced him with a tight kiss, and he immediately abandoned his premature speech and hastily kissed me in return. I bit down quite sharply on his bottom lip and he tensed, and as I slid my hand beneath his tunic once more I could feel that his pulse quickened.

I felt curiosity grow when I noted that he was not touching me. It was common of him to hold onto me in one way or another when the situation got heated, either by a hand behind my neck or fingers curling into my hair. I broke the kiss for half a moment and glanced down to catch sight of his hands.

I felt my cheeks begin to burn a faint red when I took in the sight before me.

Kíli had taken his erection into his hand and was slowly working himself. His other hand clutched weakly onto a fistful of hay underneath him, and every exhale was a soft whimper that sounded too delicious to pass up.

I dared not to break the scene. Kíli's eyes opened when I kissed him tenderly once more, and his hand stopped abruptly. "Don't," I whispered. "Keep going."

"I..." Kíli began weakly, his voice hoarse with lust.

But I quieted him with another kiss, this one not as gentle as the previous one. Our lips were pressed tightly together and I eased his mouth open with mine. I reached to start unlacing the tight straps of my breeches. I slid my hips to one direction as I pulled them down, and I silently thanked Kíli as I felt him tugging at the loose fabric as well. Soon his hand clutched back onto his cock, and I grasped my own painful erection.

I groaned softly as I tugged lightly, and Kíli used the opportunity to deepen the kiss. I felt his teasing, though less experienced tongue mingle with mine, soft sounds emitting from both of our throats.

I released my erection and tightly fisted Kíli's. "Do mine," I gasped against his lips, and then felt his slender fingers curl around my manhood. My flesh there was slicked thinly with precum, so Kíli had no trouble when he began to pump vigorously.

I smeared my thumb over the head of his arousal, feeling his pulse quicken and his breath choking in as I slid my hand down its shaft. I cupped his orbs, beginning to knead against them gently with my knuckles and fingertips. I could feel his fingers begin to tremble against my cock, and his hand paused as he panted heavily. Desperately, I thrust my hips against his warm hand, trying to recreate the pressure.

I wanted badly to taste Kíli in my mouth, but I knew that would have to wait. I couldn't hold back the soft moan that slipped from my lips when I felt lapping waves of pleasure swirling inside of me, and I suddenly realized that I was on the verge of release.

I moved my hand quickly and tightly up and down Kíli's swollen cock, wanting him to finish before I did. I felt him wither beneath me in pleasure, his eyes unfocused eyes blurry as he struggled out, "I-I'm... c-close..."

"As am I, nadadith." I rasped out, already feeling that familiar heat begin to trickle closer to my groins.

I felt Kíli's ankles press against my back and his toes curled, "J-just a little more," He pleaded over and over again. "I'm almost there.'

"I'm not going to stop," I promised him, and leaned to kiss him again. This kiss had no rhythm or balance, and we struggled to meet each other's lips. I was breathing heavily now and Kíli panted against my lips.

Suddenly his back arched against my chest as he moaned softly, and I felt as hot cum spurted from the tip of his cock. I gasped quietly when I came, and I tried to pull away to prevent it, but Kíli's heels had me planted in place, and shamefully my seed splashed upon his flat abdomen.

"Damn it," I groaned, leaning to rest my head against his collar. "I didn't mean to do that..."

My head swam backwards as I tried to recover from the orgasm. I then heard him giggle softly, "I'm sorry, Fíli."

I closed my eyes slowly, releasing my no longer hard cock. I inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of my Kíli. He smelled faintly of perspiration, but there was something else there... like clover and sweet spice. _His_ scent.

Without opening my eyes, I kissed his neck slowly, and I felt him tilt his head a bit. I chuckled softly against his damp, smooth skin and I kissed again.

"Will that do for now?" I murmured, slowly moving off of Kíli and onto my side. Kíli paused while he thought for a moment, but he nodded. "For now."

"Next vender you see," I closed my eyes slowly, "You buy all of the bottles of oil your pockets can hold, understand?"

I felt Kíli's weight shift a bit as he sat up, and by the soft rustle of fabric, I knew he was pulling his clothes back on. I momentarily considered doing the same, but decided I was too tired to really care.

"I promise." He said quietly, and he gently lifted my head. Without opening my eyes, I nestled my head against his lap as I felt his hand rest lightly against my hair.

"Silly," Kíli cooed. "One of your braids came undone."

"Why am I not surprised?"

He chuckled lightly, and then I felt the gentle tug as he removed one of the bands I used to tie it back. He combed his fingers through the strands, uncurling loose tangles before diving them into three sections and beginning to intertwine them again.

If there was one thing in the world that could put me to sleep like a babe, it was the sensation of someone touching my hair. It didn't matter how my hair was being handled – be it braiding, brushed through or just stroked, there would be no doubt I would fall asleep within one minute. It's been a weakness of mine since I was little, and I had yet to grow out of it.

Apparently.

Because the next thing I remember, I was waking up to the sound of cracking laughter erupting from the kitchen. My eyes opened suddenly and I bolted up into a sitting position. Panicked, I looked down, remembering exactly what had happened the night before.

I gave a breathy sigh of relief – it seems like Kíli had the sense to attempt dressing me again, because my breeches were resting comfortably around my hips. Albeit unlaced, but still covering everything. I glanced to the kitchen where I saw Kíli nearly doubled over laughing at a story Bofur and Dwalin were obviously telling.

I stumbled to my feet, grabbing for a shirt – was it mine or Kíli's? Ah well, didn't matter. - and slipped over my head in order to maintain some decency as I walked into the kitchen.

"And there he is!" Dwalin announced loudly, making me wince slightly.

"Morning." I responded quite meekly, rather uncertain of the scenario. "Um..."

"Beorn's making breakfast," Kíli told me excitedly, hopping off his seat and pointing. I followed the direction of his finger and squeaked at the sight of the incredibly tall and bulky man who looked to be, indeed, preparing a large meal.

"I-I see." I stuttered, then turned to my little brother. "Um. We need to talk later, okay?"

It made me a little uncomfortable, the way Bofur was smirking at me whilst Dwalin whispered something to him.

Oh no...

Kíli didn't _tell_ them, did he?

"Sure." Kíli replied sweetly, giving me a quick hug. When his arms wrapped around me, I felt a small object of some sort being slipped into my pocket. He pulled away, and giggled quietly and whispered, "It's rose-scented. Technically essence, but it'll work just fine."

I stared in amazement as Kíli smiled brightly as if he hadn't said a word and he spun around to see if he could get any pre-meal snacks.

...

_How did he...?_

I gave a long, slow whistle as I pressed my hand over the vial in my pocket.

He never did cease to surprise me.

_x~x_

_Kíli ended up getting in trouble for stealing the bottle of oil, but Thorin was too busy stammering over his poorly-prepared lecture about decency for him that Kíli never felt bad about it. He just told uncle that it would have just been burned otherwise and asked to why not put it to better use, and that was about the end of the conversation._

_I suppose I did learn a thing or two today – be aware of Kíli's radical acting skills. He managed to slip by with Óin's diagnosis of a mild sprain of his ankle, and was soon 'recovering' just days later._

I paused. Was there something else...?

Ah, yes.

_Also, rose is my new favorite scent._


End file.
